Imagine if you will, a standing freezer, an appliance you’ve coveted for years but just couldn’t afford. Now envision your glee when a used, yet still well-functioning, keeper of all things frozen comes available at a neighbor’s garage sale. Score! Majorly awesome find for just $30. The only catch is that the contents are being donated to the local church for a Sunday school project and you will need to wait until the volunteer parishioners come to clean out said freezer in the next week. Seems like a more than fair proposition. Until…
Three weeks later your newly acquired freezer has still not been emptied. You begin to get that hinky, something might be amiss, feeling. Finally, you take it upon yourself to loosen the packing tape sealing the door shut in order to take a look inside. As the door slowly creaks open, you carefully peer around the edge and into the white inner space. You expect to find this:
Image provided courtesy of MorgueFile, http://morguefile.com/search/morguefile/1/freezer/pop
Instead, to your shock and horror, the first thing you see is a foot… a friggin human foot!
This is not the plot for the latest horror flick, my friends. It is instead a genuine, true life story: http://www.nbcnews.com/news/crime-courts/north-carolina-woman-finds-body-inside-30-yard-sale-freezer-n584426 You really can’t make this stuff up. I was more than a little relieved to discover that this grizzly tale happened in North Carolina, not Florida. For once my crazed home state was not the epicenter of yet another tragic truth-is-stranger-than-fiction ordeal.
As a self-ordained estate sale junkie, these kinds of stories become the stuff of legends. You wonder: what went down that caused someone to believe that putting a body in a freezer seemed like a good idea? What else lurks in the cabinets and closets of the house? What kind of person puts a body in a freezer? It also got me to thinking: if circumstances required the need for my house to suddenly have to be cleared out via an estate sale, what would people surmise from my belongings?
Image provided courtesy of Flickr Commons, https://goo.gl/66pEFj. No known copyright restrictions.
Based upon a quick perusal of my abode, I believe the following assumptions and conclusions could be made about me, none of which would necessarily be true.
I’m an interior decorator. In every room of my house there are one or more shelter magazines resting on a nightstand, desk, or within a tasteful basket next to the john. Who can resist the pretty covers and come hither titles?
I’m a master chef. Only someone of extraordinary culinary talent could have amassed so many cookbooks, pots, pans, gadgets, oils, knives, etc.
I’m my grandmother. Surely it would have taken a lifetime to accumulate such a massive collection of Pyrex.
What would your belongings reveal about you? Would these revelations be accurate?
Cheers,
Kimba
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